*Warning! It's a birth story. With gory details. Feel free to skip!*
When you have an infant and you are making new friends at various child-friendly activities, it's quite normal to find out about other people's birth experiences. For my new mum-friends, most of these took place in Paris. As Small Fry was born in Scotland, it was quite interesting to compare the different approaches and figure out some of the advantages and disadvantages of the system in France...you know, just in case we should happen to use it :)
I found out that to get in to one of the 3 natural-birth friendly hospitals in Paris would require a bit of effort. Although each has around 450 births a month, spots fill up quickly. At 6 weeks pregnant and with the blood test confirmation of my pregnancy, I was able to fill out the online registration form and take my first steps to securing a place at Les Bluets, the only hospital in Paris to be awarded a 'friend of babies' certificate for its pro-breastfeeding practices and support. It's the maternity unit of the trauma hospital situated right beside it that specialises in babies, so there is a lot of medical backup right next door. It seemed to me to be about the French equivalent of Forth Valley Royal Hospital in Scotland where Small Fry entered the world. I saw all these things as positives...but it is on the other side of Paris, which was a bit of a downer. It took me an hour each way for my first couple of appointments (so I had to ask babysitters to help out) and I was a bit concerned about having to do the trip in labour, or for El Puma to do it with Small Fry after the baby was born. Also, being a big hospital it still had very strict protocols and rules...such as a minimum stay after the baby is born. Other people had also told me how a) hospital food is rubbish (especially for a weetabix-loving gal like me. Bread and coffee for breakfast after giving birth? No thank you) b) you are never left in peace as people keep coming in to check on you and check on the baby c) you get bored d) you get conflicting advice.
But it was on one of these trips that I noticed a separate midwife-led unit called CALM (Comme A La Maison: roughly, As At Home). I liked the sound of that but I was already 5 months pregnant when I met them and with only 10 births a month in the centre, they were fully booked for September already. I was really disappointed as I thought that would be a good compromise: a midwife led birth within a strong medical support structure, even though there was still the problem of the hospital being miles away. It was the midwives at CALM who suggested another group called Groupes Naissances. This is a group of midwives, pediatricians, osteopaths etc who support natural childbirth and non-intervention (unless necessary)...and who also happen to offer homebirths. One of them is located about a 10 minute walk away from our house.
When I met with a midwife from the group in the 6th month, I wasn't particularly interested in a homebirth. This is because the Group 'hires' labour suites in certain hospitals, which enable a birth to take place in a hospital (with the support that brings) but with a midwife that you know and who has been taking care of you for at least 3 months, handles the birth, and does the follow-up with you and the baby.
However, the more El Puma and I thought about it, the more a homebirth appealed. For me, it was mainly because I wouldn't have to stay in hospital afterwards. I really, really wanted to recover at home with my family around me and choices over what I eat and what medication I take (if any) and when, and with one person whom I trust handling the birth and follow-up. As the pregnancy progressed and I wasn't showing any risks that would prevent a homebirth, we started to make preparations. Importantly, we would have to make arrangements for Small Fry so that he would be well looked after, and we needed a car available for an immediate transfer to hospital if required. Not only would this be faster than an ambulance as the clinic that the Groupes Naissances uses was only 1km away, but if we called an ambulance we would be transferred to the nearest public hospital...and my midwife would not be able to join me for the birth. We also had to buy all the items you'd normally have in a hospital - like absorbant pads...and yes, a large plastic sheet. I also decided to take some recommended homeopathy during labour. In fact eating and drinking at all in labour in hospital is a big no-no, and I didn't like that choice being taken away from me.
So that was pretty much it in terms of organisation.
On Sunday night we collected the car and on Monday morning I woke up with strong and regular contractions, but they were only 15 minutes apart. I told my midwife who asked me to let her know if they sped up. By 11am they were every 5 minutes and I couldn't walk during them. El Puma collected Small Fry from the garderie and we followed our plan for a 'day birth'. El Puma took SF off to our friends and during this time the contractions slowed (although already painful) and the midwives showed up (my midwife and her partner for homebirths, a very gay man). They set about preparing the birth area, which was really impressive. The plastic sheet went down, they laid out all their wares, but they did little things like put the cushions back on the couch and light candles that made it still feel like home.
But I was still only 3cm dilated even though the contractions were so sore (until I got the drip at Small Fry's birth I didn't have painful contractions). Once El Puma was back we went off for a walk in the park, with me stopping every 5 minutes or so for a contraction. It was a nice little moment together to confirm our name choices, ensure there was nothing psychologically standing in the way of the coming hours, and just be together.
Once we got home I'd progressed to 6cm and the midwives suggested a bath. Which I highly recommend. I wanted off my feet anyway after the walk and the bath was incredibly relaxing (yup, the gay man had put candles around the bathroom and essential oils in the water and it all felt quite spa-like...er, except for the contractions). But I was encouraged out after an hour as they were afraid I'd want a water birth (they'd be right too, it was really a great relief) and there wasn't enough space for them all in the bathroom.
So out I came at 17h40 and now 8cm dilated. And honestly, the rest of it is a bit of a painful blur. I know I was in 3 different positions, finally on my knees (as for Small Fry). And I know I could see blood and that breathing was painful, and then I vomited (as with Small Fry), and I could no longer think about any of those ridiculous relaxation exercises anymore...it just took over and it was hard work. I don't remember it being as painful with SF. Maybe because the hour on the drip was so bad that the actual birth seemed easy in comparison. Or maybe because now I have some scar tissue or maybe because she was born like superman with one hand up by her head, which surely requires a bit more stretching. Well, whatever it was, it at least didn't last long and at 18h15 she was born. I think what made it harder was that I didn't know how advanced I was. When I knew I was 8cm I thought I still had to fully dilate and get the baby down the birth canal and then get it out. I'd vomited with Small Fry at about 8am and he wasn't born until just before 11. So I think I got a bit dejected and that I wouldn't be able to carry on and cope, and perhaps they sensed that because they got quite 'cheerleady'. And at one point the midwife said your baby's here, your baby's here! By which I thought she meant it's coming so don't give up. But no, she actually meant it's here, here. So I reached between my legs and pulled the baby up to me and remember thinking as with Small Fry 'this is a big one'. She was almost Small Fry's weight - just 55g shy - but she took 40 weeks and 4 days to get there and he took only 39 weeks. Still, quite a chubber! She didn't cry that much and it was only about 5 minutes later we found out it was a girl. I was just so knackered and sore I can't even remember feeling relief.
El Puma cut the cord once it had stopped pulsating and took her for some skin to skin contact while I got cleaned up. They then helped me to my feet and I moved to the bedroom and lay down on the bed and they brought her to me and she fed immediately, which was brilliant. And then I could stop shaking and just lie down and rest. El Puma sat with me and we looked at and held our new daughter. And when he went back through to the living room 30minutes later it was spotless, with only 3 black bags in the corner. Everything was back the way it had been and there was no sign of anything having happened at all. They'd even done small things like fold my clothes that I'd thrown down when I went in to the bath, or lay out all the stuff I'd need in the bathroom over the coming days. I mean they were really, really impressive.
After 2 hours and a check for both me and baby, they left us to it and are due back today and tomorrow for further checks.
Overall, it was a great experience (well, the birth was hard work and painful but having her at home went beyond my expectations) and I would highly recommend it for a risk-free pregnancy like ours. Of course at the back of my mind was always that 'fear factor' or 'what if', but I knew I also trusted my midwives and the decisions they were making.
And as I'd hoped, recovering at home has been much easier and more fun than in a hospital. Poor El Puma has had to work harder but we've had Small Fry with us so he's been less disturbed by the whole process and mama being away, I can eat and drink what I want when I want, and be comfortable in my own bed. We've been left to sleep when required and I could be in contact with people when I wished rather than having to wait to exit the hospital.
And so, on with the day :)
