Walk to the metro, cross Paris to the RER (regional railway) Station, head south for 45 minutes, exit the station, stop in a little rural café for a cup of hot tea to warm the soul and the fingertips, locate cycleway in the snow, follow until you see the farm on your left, take the road opposite, follow until the green fence, turn left, slither on the ice to the river and follow until you hit small village, once in the old centre start climbing, pause for breath, admire views, admire chateau, walk around it, locate onward path, take the road on the left when it forks, cross a cabbage field, enter fog, panic, call hotel, retrace steps to the castle, descend, turn left, walk, walk, walk and walk again, darkness falls, walk, walk, call from the hotel, 'ah we didn't realise you were walking..you should have kept walking through the cabbage field as the hotel is just on the other side through the wood and down the hill...instead you have taken the long way around the mountain...that's very far to walk', you don't say, finally locate hotel, collapse.
