Father of the Bride, Mother of the Groom, Best Man, Martin, Kat, Fiona the Bridesmaid, Mother of the Bride, Father of the Groom....
The Kelling 5
The sticky and sweet tour
With only half a day left in Bangkok, Bern and I decided to head out of town to the (in)famous Chatuchak market. It is absolutely HUGE and made up of over 15 000 stalls packed tight under a corrugated iron roof...enough to make even the seasoned tropical traveller (which I am not) woozy. We had to stop twice - once for strawberry fanta (ever tried it? Turns the tongue well er pink..but a very odd pink) and once for a banana milkshake, which had no milk but plenty of ice. We mainly just wandered around as there was so much to take in, although Bern did manage to buy 2 pairs of near identical shoes in red.
The wierdest part was the pet section. All these tiny little puppies were on display. About 99% were labradors (all honey) and they were all part of a little factory line, which started with them being washed, then allowed to drip dry before being blow dried and back-combed so that they ended up as fluffy little puppies tripping all over the place. Not sure if they were headed for someone's dinner plate but at 100 dollars a pup, you'd hope not.
We left the dogs and joined the cats but most seemed to be small and scrawny and a few were quite clearly ill. Maybe they really are for meals and that's why they are not washed and dried for display, but along one counter we saw a very small, young tabby balancing amongst the hamster cages. As we watched in morbid fascination, the kitty was trying to determine whether he could take on the guinea pigs. After deciding they were bigger than him, he hopped along to the next cage where there were some little russian hamsters. These things look and run like mice and within a split second, kitty had isolated one, jumped down and gobbled him up so that only his body was hanging out the cat's mouth. The shrieks this incurred from us meant that the stall owner came running out, the cat dropped the hamster (very clearly left this mortal coil) and the cat got whacked, but not too hard otherwise he would have followed the hamster out the door as he was that small.
With all these experiences behind us, we left Bangkok, but not before trying some street food. Having packed, we plonked ourselves on the side of the street and pointed at things we wanted. Lunch came for a whopping 1 dollar and it was one of the best ever.
Having had our final meal in the baking heat, it was a relief to get to the freezing terminal where we discovered there was no longer an airport tax and we had spare Baht for trashy mags. Wahey!
Bern left first and I was stuck waiting for an extra couple of hours, but a very nice boy asked me for my paper once I'd finished it and we struck up a conversation. Turns out he's worked for the whole summer in China and was just finishing up a little south-east asian jaunt. He was lovely...and so 19 and just getting to grips with 'discovering himself' and all this sort of stuff. He needs to start writing a diary. He's an external verbal processor so I learnt some of the things he's learnt about himself...like to just say no etc. Well, better he learnt that one sooner than later. Apparently I classed as one of the interesting people he's met on his trip but that was only after I'd told him what fish he should be buying. It was interesting becuase he found the people he's met on his travels to be really interesting and they've taught him about life and himself and all that jazz, but when he asked me I said that it had to be the people that I live life with...and I don't mean especially in my flat or just Paris but that in general, it's the people that I am in a continuous relationship with that teach me interesting things about me and life, and rarely the randoms I meet travelling....
All flights went well and I arrived safely, if hot in 34 degree (midnight local time) heat in Doha and safely but cold in 18 degree (7am local time) in Paris, but nursing the worst mosquito bites I've ever had. Not sure when I picked them up but I've got three which have come up as blisters on my elbow. They are huge which means my elbow is so swollen I can hardly bend it and it's left half my arm numb.
Now I have to try and stay awake...and re-pack: that's still only half the adventure done....
PS Sticky: the heat; sweet: coming home
The wierdest part was the pet section. All these tiny little puppies were on display. About 99% were labradors (all honey) and they were all part of a little factory line, which started with them being washed, then allowed to drip dry before being blow dried and back-combed so that they ended up as fluffy little puppies tripping all over the place. Not sure if they were headed for someone's dinner plate but at 100 dollars a pup, you'd hope not.
We left the dogs and joined the cats but most seemed to be small and scrawny and a few were quite clearly ill. Maybe they really are for meals and that's why they are not washed and dried for display, but along one counter we saw a very small, young tabby balancing amongst the hamster cages. As we watched in morbid fascination, the kitty was trying to determine whether he could take on the guinea pigs. After deciding they were bigger than him, he hopped along to the next cage where there were some little russian hamsters. These things look and run like mice and within a split second, kitty had isolated one, jumped down and gobbled him up so that only his body was hanging out the cat's mouth. The shrieks this incurred from us meant that the stall owner came running out, the cat dropped the hamster (very clearly left this mortal coil) and the cat got whacked, but not too hard otherwise he would have followed the hamster out the door as he was that small.
With all these experiences behind us, we left Bangkok, but not before trying some street food. Having packed, we plonked ourselves on the side of the street and pointed at things we wanted. Lunch came for a whopping 1 dollar and it was one of the best ever.
Having had our final meal in the baking heat, it was a relief to get to the freezing terminal where we discovered there was no longer an airport tax and we had spare Baht for trashy mags. Wahey!
Bern left first and I was stuck waiting for an extra couple of hours, but a very nice boy asked me for my paper once I'd finished it and we struck up a conversation. Turns out he's worked for the whole summer in China and was just finishing up a little south-east asian jaunt. He was lovely...and so 19 and just getting to grips with 'discovering himself' and all this sort of stuff. He needs to start writing a diary. He's an external verbal processor so I learnt some of the things he's learnt about himself...like to just say no etc. Well, better he learnt that one sooner than later. Apparently I classed as one of the interesting people he's met on his trip but that was only after I'd told him what fish he should be buying. It was interesting becuase he found the people he's met on his travels to be really interesting and they've taught him about life and himself and all that jazz, but when he asked me I said that it had to be the people that I live life with...and I don't mean especially in my flat or just Paris but that in general, it's the people that I am in a continuous relationship with that teach me interesting things about me and life, and rarely the randoms I meet travelling....
All flights went well and I arrived safely, if hot in 34 degree (midnight local time) heat in Doha and safely but cold in 18 degree (7am local time) in Paris, but nursing the worst mosquito bites I've ever had. Not sure when I picked them up but I've got three which have come up as blisters on my elbow. They are huge which means my elbow is so swollen I can hardly bend it and it's left half my arm numb.
Now I have to try and stay awake...and re-pack: that's still only half the adventure done....
PS Sticky: the heat; sweet: coming home
The end, the middle and coming up to the end...
Thanks to everyone who has written over the past 24 hours...time is tight and I'm leaving tomorrow so will reply properly once I am back in Paris, but thanks all for keeping in touch....
Our last morning in Phuket was not without incident. We decided that as we had a 3pm flight we would profit from some final remaining rays of sun before being cooped up for the rest of the day in a plane. The drama all started around 9.30am when Bern and I had finished our breakfasts and installed ourselves on the best available deckchairs by the pool but facing the ocean. Indeed there were pretty little pink hotel towels on the backs of them but seeing as they were on the back of ALL the deckchairs, we simply moved them and sat down.
About 20 minutes later, 2 Slovakian girls came down and said 've huv reserved theeese deckchairs' to which I said 'oh no you haven't'...mainly because the hotel rules (which I had studiously read when trying to locate the room service menu) explicitly mentioned that deck chairs must be shared and cannot under any circumstances be reserved. I told her this and she said 'no, ve got up at 6am to reserve theeese' and I said I'm sure you did but it doesn't work like that. We all huffed and puffed for about 10 minutes with her saying well is there a problem if you move becuase we have reserved 6 for all our friends. I said there was no problem (Bern was keeping suspiciously quiet, especially becuase it was her who had chosen the spot) if she could find us another spot to move to. More huffing and puffing and eventual moving of deckchairs (by them) and further reposing (by us). No sooner had we settled then the clouds came over and the rain started to fall. Still, within this time frame Bern managed to burn herself, but along a different line on her chest to her top from the day before, which means she has a 3-ring line of bright bright red where she was burnt first, then 2 inches lower where she was burnt by the pool and then finally the non-burnt colour. Looks very post-Ibiza British unfortunately.
We arrived safely in Bangkok but by the time we had got our luggage, negotiated a taxi, got to the hotel, checked in and arranged our stuff a bit, it was pitch black and we were hungry. It's not our fault that the nearest food outlet was in a huge shopping mall that was just over the street and let me tell you, you cannot cannot cannot beat Bangkok for shopping. I have never seen ANYTHING like this set up. You can shop till you drop round here and I had a very good shot at it. It's amazing how my 'need' list expanded as I looked at things on offer and i cannot believe the prices. Some things are obviously fake - like 8 dollar pumas that look a bit shifty, but downstairs was a legit puma store selling at 70 US dollars, which is still half price at least. Birkenstocks were 10 dollars and if they were fake, you'd have a hard time proving it.
This morning we wanted to make the most of our one full day in Bangkok, so we got up with the cockerels at 6.30 am and were out on the skytrain by 7.30...clearly not thinking that this would of course be rush-hour. It was absolutely stuffed and we were herded all round the place by the sheer number of people. It did however mean that we got to the Grand Palace here at 0830, which was just ahead of the crowds and tour groups. Unfortunately, I slowed us down from this point onwards and the day went hideously pearshaped. I was aware about temple/holy place rules so had brought a scarf to cover my shoulders as I was wearing what MIGHT be described as a shirt with sleeves that were just too short. So I put on my shawl and the guard stopped me, pointing at my trousers. I was wearing three quarter length trousers and apparently my bit of ankle would cause all sorts of problems in the temple (men falling prostrate at my feet instead of Buddha's??). At least the had the good sense to provide clothes free of charge and I went in to the clothes place get my to-the-ankles bright green sarong. I re-tried, only to be stopped again, this time because the shawl was not suitable. So back I went into the clothes place to pick up a very male looking short-sleeved shirt in peach. I looked absolutely hideous, but apparently this was now decent and I was allowed to enter. What really narked me was that everywhere the eye could see were people with skirts above the knee...going through security the guard even said to a woman who was wearing leggings to the ankle and a short dress on top to hitch up her leggings so that they didn't show, leaving a white expanse of leg on show...so apparently the problem was women wearing trousers and skirts of any length were acceptable, especially if work by Thai women.
Exhausted, hot, sweaty and grumpy, we then left the palace and tried next door looking for a famous temple, only to be directed by numerous 'helpful' tuk-tuk drivers in all directions, generally being told the temple was shut until 1pm but they could take us on a tour of the city in the meantime. At the same time, the clouds were getting thicker and thicker and so was the air. It was really really close and felt quite suffocating. Which spurred us on to our temple which lo and behold was open. We opted for a guide to tell us a bit about it ('money you pay me go to children who without your kindness have no clothes etc etc'...hook, line and sinker we fell for it). In the first photo shoot (aligning us with the reclining buddha) he dropped bern's camera and that resulted in pandemonium for a while. Then he kept trying to make us be little buddha's and copy everything he did like touch stones for luck and bow before the buddha. No thank you so I had to kindly but firmly refuse.
What he did do however was hail a passing tuk-tuk to take us on an hour tour of the city by motorised vehicle - Bern's briliant idea. It WAS brilliant becuase we got to sit and be driven around the city and get a real taste for it in a way we wouldn't have been able to do by foot or train...but we also got one hour's worth of grimy, dusty, dirty, dirty pollution. Oh it was totally disgusting. Everything and it's cat was spewing out grey exhaust fumes into the atmosphere and everywhere you looked it was a grey haze. And by this time it was 2pm and we had breakfast at 7am so for all those who have lived/travelled with me, there was one very grumpy Ingrid around this time, seriously needing some lunch. Actually, the lonely planet warns people that it's very easy to end up dehydrated in Bangkok and I was definitely showing signs of it. Lunch perked me up a bit but by then we were both exhausted. Bern and I did manage to find some cut price CDs (would be rude not to in Bangkok), but ended up at the hotel pretty much soon after that for a snooze...followed by the pool (would also be rude not to in such temperatures).
This evening we made it out to the main square in order to watch the Olympic opening ceremony on 3 big screens according to the 2 filthy rotten lying Australian bandits that we met in the hotel jacuzzi, which had made us rush our swim, shower and supper, only to find a very funky mall but no olympics. Bern was furious as it was her one aim today to see it - she loves it for reasons only she must know. To be fair, we ended up watching it in the hotel room (with banana split room service - perfect!) and I was highly impressed with the whole show.
I left her to write this so better head back. Tomorrow is the Big Pack as well as The Last Shop (eek) when we head to the very famous market here where you can find whatever you want - puppies, clothes, pottery, bags etc. I think I need a new bag to hold all my new purchases....
I don't know if I'll get back on the internet before I fly, but thanks for reading and hope to have more personal contact with you soon!
xxxx
Our last morning in Phuket was not without incident. We decided that as we had a 3pm flight we would profit from some final remaining rays of sun before being cooped up for the rest of the day in a plane. The drama all started around 9.30am when Bern and I had finished our breakfasts and installed ourselves on the best available deckchairs by the pool but facing the ocean. Indeed there were pretty little pink hotel towels on the backs of them but seeing as they were on the back of ALL the deckchairs, we simply moved them and sat down.
About 20 minutes later, 2 Slovakian girls came down and said 've huv reserved theeese deckchairs' to which I said 'oh no you haven't'...mainly because the hotel rules (which I had studiously read when trying to locate the room service menu) explicitly mentioned that deck chairs must be shared and cannot under any circumstances be reserved. I told her this and she said 'no, ve got up at 6am to reserve theeese' and I said I'm sure you did but it doesn't work like that. We all huffed and puffed for about 10 minutes with her saying well is there a problem if you move becuase we have reserved 6 for all our friends. I said there was no problem (Bern was keeping suspiciously quiet, especially becuase it was her who had chosen the spot) if she could find us another spot to move to. More huffing and puffing and eventual moving of deckchairs (by them) and further reposing (by us). No sooner had we settled then the clouds came over and the rain started to fall. Still, within this time frame Bern managed to burn herself, but along a different line on her chest to her top from the day before, which means she has a 3-ring line of bright bright red where she was burnt first, then 2 inches lower where she was burnt by the pool and then finally the non-burnt colour. Looks very post-Ibiza British unfortunately.
We arrived safely in Bangkok but by the time we had got our luggage, negotiated a taxi, got to the hotel, checked in and arranged our stuff a bit, it was pitch black and we were hungry. It's not our fault that the nearest food outlet was in a huge shopping mall that was just over the street and let me tell you, you cannot cannot cannot beat Bangkok for shopping. I have never seen ANYTHING like this set up. You can shop till you drop round here and I had a very good shot at it. It's amazing how my 'need' list expanded as I looked at things on offer and i cannot believe the prices. Some things are obviously fake - like 8 dollar pumas that look a bit shifty, but downstairs was a legit puma store selling at 70 US dollars, which is still half price at least. Birkenstocks were 10 dollars and if they were fake, you'd have a hard time proving it.
This morning we wanted to make the most of our one full day in Bangkok, so we got up with the cockerels at 6.30 am and were out on the skytrain by 7.30...clearly not thinking that this would of course be rush-hour. It was absolutely stuffed and we were herded all round the place by the sheer number of people. It did however mean that we got to the Grand Palace here at 0830, which was just ahead of the crowds and tour groups. Unfortunately, I slowed us down from this point onwards and the day went hideously pearshaped. I was aware about temple/holy place rules so had brought a scarf to cover my shoulders as I was wearing what MIGHT be described as a shirt with sleeves that were just too short. So I put on my shawl and the guard stopped me, pointing at my trousers. I was wearing three quarter length trousers and apparently my bit of ankle would cause all sorts of problems in the temple (men falling prostrate at my feet instead of Buddha's??). At least the had the good sense to provide clothes free of charge and I went in to the clothes place get my to-the-ankles bright green sarong. I re-tried, only to be stopped again, this time because the shawl was not suitable. So back I went into the clothes place to pick up a very male looking short-sleeved shirt in peach. I looked absolutely hideous, but apparently this was now decent and I was allowed to enter. What really narked me was that everywhere the eye could see were people with skirts above the knee...going through security the guard even said to a woman who was wearing leggings to the ankle and a short dress on top to hitch up her leggings so that they didn't show, leaving a white expanse of leg on show...so apparently the problem was women wearing trousers and skirts of any length were acceptable, especially if work by Thai women.
Exhausted, hot, sweaty and grumpy, we then left the palace and tried next door looking for a famous temple, only to be directed by numerous 'helpful' tuk-tuk drivers in all directions, generally being told the temple was shut until 1pm but they could take us on a tour of the city in the meantime. At the same time, the clouds were getting thicker and thicker and so was the air. It was really really close and felt quite suffocating. Which spurred us on to our temple which lo and behold was open. We opted for a guide to tell us a bit about it ('money you pay me go to children who without your kindness have no clothes etc etc'...hook, line and sinker we fell for it). In the first photo shoot (aligning us with the reclining buddha) he dropped bern's camera and that resulted in pandemonium for a while. Then he kept trying to make us be little buddha's and copy everything he did like touch stones for luck and bow before the buddha. No thank you so I had to kindly but firmly refuse.
What he did do however was hail a passing tuk-tuk to take us on an hour tour of the city by motorised vehicle - Bern's briliant idea. It WAS brilliant becuase we got to sit and be driven around the city and get a real taste for it in a way we wouldn't have been able to do by foot or train...but we also got one hour's worth of grimy, dusty, dirty, dirty pollution. Oh it was totally disgusting. Everything and it's cat was spewing out grey exhaust fumes into the atmosphere and everywhere you looked it was a grey haze. And by this time it was 2pm and we had breakfast at 7am so for all those who have lived/travelled with me, there was one very grumpy Ingrid around this time, seriously needing some lunch. Actually, the lonely planet warns people that it's very easy to end up dehydrated in Bangkok and I was definitely showing signs of it. Lunch perked me up a bit but by then we were both exhausted. Bern and I did manage to find some cut price CDs (would be rude not to in Bangkok), but ended up at the hotel pretty much soon after that for a snooze...followed by the pool (would also be rude not to in such temperatures).
This evening we made it out to the main square in order to watch the Olympic opening ceremony on 3 big screens according to the 2 filthy rotten lying Australian bandits that we met in the hotel jacuzzi, which had made us rush our swim, shower and supper, only to find a very funky mall but no olympics. Bern was furious as it was her one aim today to see it - she loves it for reasons only she must know. To be fair, we ended up watching it in the hotel room (with banana split room service - perfect!) and I was highly impressed with the whole show.
I left her to write this so better head back. Tomorrow is the Big Pack as well as The Last Shop (eek) when we head to the very famous market here where you can find whatever you want - puppies, clothes, pottery, bags etc. I think I need a new bag to hold all my new purchases....
I don't know if I'll get back on the internet before I fly, but thanks for reading and hope to have more personal contact with you soon!
xxxx
The Beach
Yes, another day following the stars...this time it was to Maya Beach where the film 'The Beach' was filmed in crystal clear waters, golden yellow sand....and a swirling mass of garbage. It was hideous. All manner of rubbish is pushed into this once pristine lagoon by the rougher waves outside and once in the lagoon it's got nowhere to go. The currents mean that it collects in large masses several metres across that move around the lagoon. Trying to get into the water meant wading through plastic bottles, plastic cups and plastic bags and once in the water you have to keep a look out for the big groups of rubbish that also carry logs, wood and stones in their hurricane type-swirl. It's totally disgusting. And this is all Thailand has, at least in this area. Tourists come to see the environment, the colour of the sea and nature, but this sort of development can't last much longer surely. It seems to me that the area has already reached capacity - that much was evident as we came charging into the lagoon...10 other speedboats carring around 30 passengers each were already there and the swimming area has become a bit of a game of chicken. Unfortunately, I think it's just a matter of time before something gives. The government is aware of the situation but both development and tourism are such huge money spinners that restricting either is pretty much a lost cause here. After the Tsuanmi, the government put a hold on all new build to try and form a plan for development as almost everything had been washed away. According to the Lonely Planet, it hasn't worked and the area now looks pretty much how it did 4 years ago. I realise that as a tourist I am also contributing to the current state of affairs, but had I known what that really meant, I might have thought twice about the trip. To LP's credit, they did give us top tips on how to reduce our environmental impact in areas such as these, but obviously a lot more needs to be done at a higher level.
In order to work up an appetite for lunch, we fitted in some snorkeling at another cove. I did go swimming but have decided I am not a fan even of snorkeling. Diving was already a no-no but snorkeling I also don't find very comfortable. In the end, the water is so clear there that you can pretty much see what is going on without a mask anyway. The problem with the ocean, as I think I have mentioned before, is that things live in it. And quite often they want to eat me. Such beautiful sea-green waters gave me a fantastic opportunity to swim through fish shoals and see the little blighters from a long way off torpedo towards me looking for a bite. Actually, I found a 2-inch long crab attached to what there is of my tricep half-way through the outing.
After lunch we had a long trip to a second island we were going to visit, quite famous for its long sand barrier. However, the swell had picked up in the meantime and having passed the headland of our first island we hit the open sea and its 4-5 metre waves. Apparently, it only takes 1 person to vomit to set everyone else off. And not only that but this speedboat had a gap between the sides of the boat and the sun-protection roof thing above. That meant that we rode a horizontal-vertical-forward-backward-side-to-side roller coaster for 1 hour and 15 minutes, with every down motion that slammed a wave throwing water into the cabin behind until some could vomit no more. It was one of the best things I have ever done - I mean you couldn't pay for a ride like that at a funfair. I said this to Bern and she said 'yes, there's a reason why i don't' and turned a horrible shade of green. For half the people in the boat, this was absolutely fantastic fun, but for the other half it was a living nightmare as they moaned and flapped around the place (proper movement couldn't be undertaken in the conditions). Every huge roller was met with screams and you could tell them apart...some were 'wwwooooooooaaaaaahhhhhh' shrieks of delight (count me in this group) and for some it was the 'aaaarggghhhh' variety. Directly opposite me was a 16 year old girl with her parents and she rigidly kept facing the front and clinging on to her poor mother who looked like she was about to faint. Every time this girl saw a big wave coming, she would go entirely rigid like a 2 year old having a spasm - arms and legs would burst out in a star shape and her face would contort in abject fear and misery. After the bumpy moment had passed her limbs would return to a more natural position before the whole thing started again. And at the back of the boat sat a Scot. He had started at the very front of the boat ahead of the driver and I'd met him over lunch. He was wearing a Glasgow Rangers FC t-shirt and had G.R.F.C. tattooed on each of his knuckles. I guess at one time he was pretty hard but now he was about 60 and had a young Thai bride by his side. He told me over lunch how their application for a visa for her had been point-blank refused and he now travelled out to Thailand every 3 months to see her. He's from Cumbernauld, so frankly I think she's better off where she is. Anyway, it wasn't long before he came in from the wet and found a spot at the back of the boat. Unfortunately, as the boat has two sides, with two sets of spaces, water would spray in from both sides and invariably be directed to the back of the boat. Within seconds he looked like he'd just been for a swim and he had to spend the next hour like that. He didn't have the energy even to make faces or wipe his eyes from the salt before the next wave smacked him across the chops and here he was, all tatooed and tough, reduced to being drenched and not looking happy about it. I'm sorry, but I was howling with laughter on almost every swell: this was better than any entertainment I could have hoped for and was certainly worth the money.
All this excitement(ingrid)/trauma(Bern) meant that we went for a Thai massage this evening to recover...opting for the deluxe 1.5 hour version for 10 US dollars. A curtain was placed around our 2 beds and we were told to strip. I thought it best to check that this was actually a legitimate massage parlour but thought better of it. To be fair, she did a stunning job with me although I have never before had my bottom massaged - I did have a medical one once from the Unilever doctor right after I injured my hip in London and could hardly walk but that did not involve oil and certainly no spanking (Thai massage is a bit rougher than most). The placement of the tiny towel to cover my modesty was achieved with varying degrees of imprecision, which got a little draughty. I am now one slick, slathered chickadee, which is perfect because tomorrow Bangkok awaits....
In order to work up an appetite for lunch, we fitted in some snorkeling at another cove. I did go swimming but have decided I am not a fan even of snorkeling. Diving was already a no-no but snorkeling I also don't find very comfortable. In the end, the water is so clear there that you can pretty much see what is going on without a mask anyway. The problem with the ocean, as I think I have mentioned before, is that things live in it. And quite often they want to eat me. Such beautiful sea-green waters gave me a fantastic opportunity to swim through fish shoals and see the little blighters from a long way off torpedo towards me looking for a bite. Actually, I found a 2-inch long crab attached to what there is of my tricep half-way through the outing.
After lunch we had a long trip to a second island we were going to visit, quite famous for its long sand barrier. However, the swell had picked up in the meantime and having passed the headland of our first island we hit the open sea and its 4-5 metre waves. Apparently, it only takes 1 person to vomit to set everyone else off. And not only that but this speedboat had a gap between the sides of the boat and the sun-protection roof thing above. That meant that we rode a horizontal-vertical-forward-backward-side-to-side roller coaster for 1 hour and 15 minutes, with every down motion that slammed a wave throwing water into the cabin behind until some could vomit no more. It was one of the best things I have ever done - I mean you couldn't pay for a ride like that at a funfair. I said this to Bern and she said 'yes, there's a reason why i don't' and turned a horrible shade of green. For half the people in the boat, this was absolutely fantastic fun, but for the other half it was a living nightmare as they moaned and flapped around the place (proper movement couldn't be undertaken in the conditions). Every huge roller was met with screams and you could tell them apart...some were 'wwwooooooooaaaaaahhhhhh' shrieks of delight (count me in this group) and for some it was the 'aaaarggghhhh' variety. Directly opposite me was a 16 year old girl with her parents and she rigidly kept facing the front and clinging on to her poor mother who looked like she was about to faint. Every time this girl saw a big wave coming, she would go entirely rigid like a 2 year old having a spasm - arms and legs would burst out in a star shape and her face would contort in abject fear and misery. After the bumpy moment had passed her limbs would return to a more natural position before the whole thing started again. And at the back of the boat sat a Scot. He had started at the very front of the boat ahead of the driver and I'd met him over lunch. He was wearing a Glasgow Rangers FC t-shirt and had G.R.F.C. tattooed on each of his knuckles. I guess at one time he was pretty hard but now he was about 60 and had a young Thai bride by his side. He told me over lunch how their application for a visa for her had been point-blank refused and he now travelled out to Thailand every 3 months to see her. He's from Cumbernauld, so frankly I think she's better off where she is. Anyway, it wasn't long before he came in from the wet and found a spot at the back of the boat. Unfortunately, as the boat has two sides, with two sets of spaces, water would spray in from both sides and invariably be directed to the back of the boat. Within seconds he looked like he'd just been for a swim and he had to spend the next hour like that. He didn't have the energy even to make faces or wipe his eyes from the salt before the next wave smacked him across the chops and here he was, all tatooed and tough, reduced to being drenched and not looking happy about it. I'm sorry, but I was howling with laughter on almost every swell: this was better than any entertainment I could have hoped for and was certainly worth the money.
All this excitement(ingrid)/trauma(Bern) meant that we went for a Thai massage this evening to recover...opting for the deluxe 1.5 hour version for 10 US dollars. A curtain was placed around our 2 beds and we were told to strip. I thought it best to check that this was actually a legitimate massage parlour but thought better of it. To be fair, she did a stunning job with me although I have never before had my bottom massaged - I did have a medical one once from the Unilever doctor right after I injured my hip in London and could hardly walk but that did not involve oil and certainly no spanking (Thai massage is a bit rougher than most). The placement of the tiny towel to cover my modesty was achieved with varying degrees of imprecision, which got a little draughty. I am now one slick, slathered chickadee, which is perfect because tomorrow Bangkok awaits....
Fun and other stuff in the sun
This morning we went to visit a project that my aunt and uncle have been supporting for some time. The project is run by Sharon and Mark, who first met my uncle (stan) when he was doing volunteer work in Newcastle for a ship that travels the world providing medical aid and missionaries called Africa Mercy...run by Y-WAM I think (Youth With A Mission who do the famous DTC Scheme - the one Simon Robertson did for anyone who knew him).
Anyway, they left Newcastle a few years ago and took their 4 kids to Thailand before settling after a few months outside Patong - sin city itself here in Phuket. The nightlife is legendary and most people go to gawp at the lady-boys who roam the streets.
There's also a large number of girls who have travelled to Phuket from the north of Thailand, looking for work and money to support their families back home. Many have little choice but to work in the bars and clubs around Patong. They get free accommodation but no wage when they work for the bar, and the only way they make money is to sleep with clients (it costs around 50 quid for a whole night). With sending money back and an irregular income, many are too poor to raise the deposit needed to move out into their own flat and so escape the cycle in the bars.
Sharon and Mark meet these girls and form friendships with them and offer them an alternative income...making jewellery in their shop. They give the girls a monthly income and free accommodation for the first 3 months, which allows the girls to save and eventually move out with their new friends. Sharon and Mark are hugely open about their faith - which brought them to Thailand - and about meeting the girls' physical and spiritual needs. Whatever you feel about their motivations, they are doing an absolutely amazing job here. In addition, I watched the news this evening and it was all about divisions in the Anglican Church over homosexuality. It seems to me that it's a great pity that it's the divisions and the back-biting that makes the headlines, rather than the people who, driven by their faith and calling, do so much to help others, such as we have seen first hand here in Thailand and also with the orphans in Cambodia. It's humbling to meet these people who give their entire lives to make a difference..and not through charity but through empowerment. The organisation is called SHE, which means Self-Help and Empowerment for women. You can find them at www.shethailand.org.
I checked out the jewellery (of course) and it is gorgeous and I simply HAD to buy a few items. It's of extremely high quality, very intricate, original and good value for money. You can order it on-line too (prices in Sterling but they ship everywhere). I was very impressed with the whole set-up. Sharon and Mark themselves are supported by donations so all profits are ploughed back into the business as they want to expand it to provide community programs.
After seeing the girls at work downstairs in the shop, Bern and I wandered through Patong in the broad and safe light of day. It's got a totally different feel to Kata Beach - further down the street - where we are staying. We have a gorgeous beach without harrassment and a nice quiet little town just outside the hotel.
We made use of our fabulous beach for the rest of the day as this was our official 'day off'. Yes, even being on holiday can get tiring and we made today a rest day. That meant we got to slather ourselves in factor 50 and sit around on the beach, swim in the ocean, dodge the waves, and sit at the pool bar drinking cocktails. Experience now seems to show me that however much sun protection you use, skin still has a fixed quota and I did manage to singe myself a little.
However, we comforted ourselves with a manicure and pedicure for about 3 US dollars each (and for Bern the most almighty foot scrub ever which has left her with size 4 feet instead of size 5) and now it's time to go and eat. We are hungry. Being on holiday is hard work.
Anyway, they left Newcastle a few years ago and took their 4 kids to Thailand before settling after a few months outside Patong - sin city itself here in Phuket. The nightlife is legendary and most people go to gawp at the lady-boys who roam the streets.
There's also a large number of girls who have travelled to Phuket from the north of Thailand, looking for work and money to support their families back home. Many have little choice but to work in the bars and clubs around Patong. They get free accommodation but no wage when they work for the bar, and the only way they make money is to sleep with clients (it costs around 50 quid for a whole night). With sending money back and an irregular income, many are too poor to raise the deposit needed to move out into their own flat and so escape the cycle in the bars.
Sharon and Mark meet these girls and form friendships with them and offer them an alternative income...making jewellery in their shop. They give the girls a monthly income and free accommodation for the first 3 months, which allows the girls to save and eventually move out with their new friends. Sharon and Mark are hugely open about their faith - which brought them to Thailand - and about meeting the girls' physical and spiritual needs. Whatever you feel about their motivations, they are doing an absolutely amazing job here. In addition, I watched the news this evening and it was all about divisions in the Anglican Church over homosexuality. It seems to me that it's a great pity that it's the divisions and the back-biting that makes the headlines, rather than the people who, driven by their faith and calling, do so much to help others, such as we have seen first hand here in Thailand and also with the orphans in Cambodia. It's humbling to meet these people who give their entire lives to make a difference..and not through charity but through empowerment. The organisation is called SHE, which means Self-Help and Empowerment for women. You can find them at www.shethailand.org.
I checked out the jewellery (of course) and it is gorgeous and I simply HAD to buy a few items. It's of extremely high quality, very intricate, original and good value for money. You can order it on-line too (prices in Sterling but they ship everywhere). I was very impressed with the whole set-up. Sharon and Mark themselves are supported by donations so all profits are ploughed back into the business as they want to expand it to provide community programs.
After seeing the girls at work downstairs in the shop, Bern and I wandered through Patong in the broad and safe light of day. It's got a totally different feel to Kata Beach - further down the street - where we are staying. We have a gorgeous beach without harrassment and a nice quiet little town just outside the hotel.
We made use of our fabulous beach for the rest of the day as this was our official 'day off'. Yes, even being on holiday can get tiring and we made today a rest day. That meant we got to slather ourselves in factor 50 and sit around on the beach, swim in the ocean, dodge the waves, and sit at the pool bar drinking cocktails. Experience now seems to show me that however much sun protection you use, skin still has a fixed quota and I did manage to singe myself a little.
However, we comforted ourselves with a manicure and pedicure for about 3 US dollars each (and for Bern the most almighty foot scrub ever which has left her with size 4 feet instead of size 5) and now it's time to go and eat. We are hungry. Being on holiday is hard work.
Here comes the sun...
I take it all back. I LOVE Phuket.
Yesterday I was just a grump because it was raining.
Today, the sun shone, the sky was clear, the sea was blue, and we'd booked a trip following in yet more celebrity footsteps to 'James Bond Island', where they filmed The Man With The Golden Gun.
It was absolutely fantastic and I must admit that all of our trips here on Phuket have been well worth the money. We were out of the hotel from 7.30 this morning (ugh) until 1730 this evening visiting three islands in an island chain and were provided with buckets of fresh fruit and drinks all day as well as a stunning lunch..of yet more rice and chicken which is not helping my ever-expanding waistline at all.
Naturally, I posed in my most unphotogenic way at every opportunity in a bikini on golden yellow sandbanks with accompanying frolics.
The best part was a canoe trip when 2 of us were assigned to a canoe with our guide/driver, leaving the boats anchored in the sea, and we entered caves in the side of a sheer cliff face that eventually took us through into a saltwater lagoon in the centre of an island. It was super duper cool and we had to all lie flat in the canoe for some parts where the cave floor and the top of the canoes were in close proximity. With 2 tourists and a guide, it got quite intimate.
Now sun protection totally makes sense as Bernadette may as well have spent the day in an oven as it achieved the same effect on her skin. She's looking rather warm this evening.
Yesterday I was just a grump because it was raining.
Today, the sun shone, the sky was clear, the sea was blue, and we'd booked a trip following in yet more celebrity footsteps to 'James Bond Island', where they filmed The Man With The Golden Gun.
It was absolutely fantastic and I must admit that all of our trips here on Phuket have been well worth the money. We were out of the hotel from 7.30 this morning (ugh) until 1730 this evening visiting three islands in an island chain and were provided with buckets of fresh fruit and drinks all day as well as a stunning lunch..of yet more rice and chicken which is not helping my ever-expanding waistline at all.
Naturally, I posed in my most unphotogenic way at every opportunity in a bikini on golden yellow sandbanks with accompanying frolics.
The best part was a canoe trip when 2 of us were assigned to a canoe with our guide/driver, leaving the boats anchored in the sea, and we entered caves in the side of a sheer cliff face that eventually took us through into a saltwater lagoon in the centre of an island. It was super duper cool and we had to all lie flat in the canoe for some parts where the cave floor and the top of the canoes were in close proximity. With 2 tourists and a guide, it got quite intimate.
Now sun protection totally makes sense as Bernadette may as well have spent the day in an oven as it achieved the same effect on her skin. She's looking rather warm this evening.
Some more snippets of conversation from dinner tonight...
The following conversations all took place between passing street sellers and 2 diners at an outdoor restaurant over the course of about an hour:
'You wanna buy bracelet? Csheap Csheap'
'No, thank you'
'You wanna buy penknife? Very good quality'
'No, thank you'
'You wanna buy flashlight? Very bright'
'No, thank you'
'You wanna buy rubber mask/wall hanging/dog/lighter/flowers/hats/fake glove that makes you look like you have tattoos/whirring sparkly thing/bag/scarves/wooden frog'? etc etc
'You wanna buy bracelet? Csheap Csheap'
'No, thank you'
'You wanna buy penknife? Very good quality'
'No, thank you'
'You wanna buy flashlight? Very bright'
'No, thank you'
'You wanna buy rubber mask/wall hanging/dog/lighter/flowers/hats/fake glove that makes you look like you have tattoos/whirring sparkly thing/bag/scarves/wooden frog'? etc etc
A snippet of conversation from dinner tonight...
At the free salad bar:
'Wow, you really like tomatoes!'
'Yes, in my country we eat big salads all the time and I am really missing my vegetables so I am having lots and lots now'
'I know what you mean, I am eating rice and chicken all day every day'
'Where are you from?'
'Scotland'
'Ah, isn't that in winter right now?'
'Er, no. We're just above England'
'Ah, I see'
'Where are you from?'
'Slovenia'
'Wow, you really like tomatoes!'
'Yes, in my country we eat big salads all the time and I am really missing my vegetables so I am having lots and lots now'
'I know what you mean, I am eating rice and chicken all day every day'
'Where are you from?'
'Scotland'
'Ah, isn't that in winter right now?'
'Er, no. We're just above England'
'Ah, I see'
'Where are you from?'
'Slovenia'
Hello Thailand
Transfer to Thailand complete, without problems.
Unfortunately:
1. The monsoon rains followed us
2. Phuket is a dump.
OK, 2. is not strictly true but 1. most certainly is. It started raining at 8am this morning (bascially as soon as we emerged from our hotel for our tour) and stopped when we returned at 5.30. In between we got soaked, dried out in the air con and got soaked again but I thank my lucky non-slip sole shoes that I got back at all....some parts were rather treacherous.
The island of Phuket is basically just one huge development. Although there are specific towns it's hard to know where one ends and the other begins as there are simply buildings everywhere. At least it's pretty...it is flat near the coast before rising to quite a high rainforest/jungle covered mountain top, which provided most of our adventures today (elephant trekking, snake show, monkey show, rubber-tapping show, Gibbon rehabilitation centre) and some which it did not (shopping, drying out in the air con, lunch). We decided to do a tour because with the rain, there was no point in attempting to hang about the pool and the beach was shut to all but surfers (although in theory they shouldn't have been out either as the red flags were up signalling dangerous rip tides).
The tour was definitely worth it in the sense that we got out the hotel, did something, and that something was actually quite interesting. Tomorrow we are doing another tour for much the same reasons as it's due to rain again. We are scheduled to visit the island where they filmed the James Bond 'The Man with the Golden Gun'.
But what I don't like here so much is the development, tourism and that you can't do anything without paying out shed loads of Baht. It's so different to Cambodia and I really miss that country's innocence, gentle exploitation of tourism, culture, friendly people and respect. Here it's in your face all that time with lady-boys on every corner, shops open round the clock, people hassling you for tours, massages, shopping, manicures, tailoring, you-name-it-they-got-it.
Saying that, there's a reason it's called The Pearl of the Adaman. I just wish there were less people at once enjoying it....
..and less beautiful people all in one place. Half the people here are totally gorgeous. They are all tanned, slim, healthy, beautiful, with fabulous outfits, manicures, hair, heels etc. even as they are traipsing through elephant dung or manhandling a snake or descending the steps of the nearest Buddhist temple...even on the jungle trek. I don't know how they do it because I am dressed every day in quick-dry plus sun-protection outfits which leaves me looking less than glamorous. AND, I have put on ALL the weight I ever lost and more besides, despite the spiciest curries I can handle.
Unfortunately:
1. The monsoon rains followed us
2. Phuket is a dump.
OK, 2. is not strictly true but 1. most certainly is. It started raining at 8am this morning (bascially as soon as we emerged from our hotel for our tour) and stopped when we returned at 5.30. In between we got soaked, dried out in the air con and got soaked again but I thank my lucky non-slip sole shoes that I got back at all....some parts were rather treacherous.
The island of Phuket is basically just one huge development. Although there are specific towns it's hard to know where one ends and the other begins as there are simply buildings everywhere. At least it's pretty...it is flat near the coast before rising to quite a high rainforest/jungle covered mountain top, which provided most of our adventures today (elephant trekking, snake show, monkey show, rubber-tapping show, Gibbon rehabilitation centre) and some which it did not (shopping, drying out in the air con, lunch). We decided to do a tour because with the rain, there was no point in attempting to hang about the pool and the beach was shut to all but surfers (although in theory they shouldn't have been out either as the red flags were up signalling dangerous rip tides).
The tour was definitely worth it in the sense that we got out the hotel, did something, and that something was actually quite interesting. Tomorrow we are doing another tour for much the same reasons as it's due to rain again. We are scheduled to visit the island where they filmed the James Bond 'The Man with the Golden Gun'.
But what I don't like here so much is the development, tourism and that you can't do anything without paying out shed loads of Baht. It's so different to Cambodia and I really miss that country's innocence, gentle exploitation of tourism, culture, friendly people and respect. Here it's in your face all that time with lady-boys on every corner, shops open round the clock, people hassling you for tours, massages, shopping, manicures, tailoring, you-name-it-they-got-it.
Saying that, there's a reason it's called The Pearl of the Adaman. I just wish there were less people at once enjoying it....
..and less beautiful people all in one place. Half the people here are totally gorgeous. They are all tanned, slim, healthy, beautiful, with fabulous outfits, manicures, hair, heels etc. even as they are traipsing through elephant dung or manhandling a snake or descending the steps of the nearest Buddhist temple...even on the jungle trek. I don't know how they do it because I am dressed every day in quick-dry plus sun-protection outfits which leaves me looking less than glamorous. AND, I have put on ALL the weight I ever lost and more besides, despite the spiciest curries I can handle.
It's a small world
Once upon a time, there were 4 friends living in Paris. They were called Zoe, Cedric, Ingrid and Frederic. One summer, Cedric decided to go on an adventure. He went off to Latin America and planned to return 6 months later. In the meantime, Ingrid went off to South East Asia for a holiday and Frederic went to Peru for a family reunion. One day, Frederic was in the middle of nowhere on a cold mountain in Peru when he met Cedric at a bus stop. At the next opportunity, Frederic e-mailed Ingrid to tell her this amazing coincidence while Cedric e-mailed Zoe. Ingrid then e-mailed Zoe and Zoe replied saying she was in India for work and Ingrid replied she was in Cambodia for play. And then the 4 carried on in their 4 corners of the world until their future reunion in Paris. My turn to cook, I know, I haven't forgotten.
Bye Bye Cambodia
Our last morning was spent in the pouring rain, followed by the obligatory 'Tomb Raider' cocktail...AJ's favourite. For all those seeking super stardom:
Cointreau, lime juice, tonic
Cointreau, lime juice, tonic
Which Wat is What and the Jolie Temple...
We've just had an incredible 2 days here. The highlights thus far:
Cool:
- Angkor Wat (literally Temple City) is incredible. It's huge, it's 1000 years old, it's built from stone, there's carvings in it like it was clay, and they've used technology such as creating a pyramid hole above the door frames to distribute the weight of a roof down the door frame itself and not on to the stone above the centre of the door, which would collapse under the weight. The rest of the temples (there's zillions and they are all huge and Lonely Planet says it would take 2 weeks to see them all) are also amazing...one has 500 steps to climb like an Inca temple while some have amazing galleries or are very tall or small or have special carvings or trees growing out of them etc etc. All different. All amazing).
- our tour is cool. We have a cool guide, a cool driver and a very cool (thanks to airconditioning) car. We never go the same way twice and he is very informative and interesting.
- our hotel at the end of the day. What a way to relax when we are hot and sweaty and slippy with melting suncream.
- Angelina Jolie's temple (or rather Ta Preuk Temple) for the Tomb Raider film.
- the food in Cambodia is tasty...and so is the beer.
- the Angkor Passion cocktail available here.
- the silk/material/bowls/books/DVDs on sale. SO CHEAP! Next stop will be to buy a second suitcase.
- quick-dry outfits and my fabulous shoes, chosen by Rosanna at Martha's Vineyard in May, with one eye on fashion and one on the best shoes for the adventurer/jungle trekking/non-slip sole requirer... 3 people at IIFET had them and another three on the plane. So cool. Brand name: KEEN.
Not So Cool:
- handing over 3 US dollar bills to our tuk-tuk driver after the drive into town only to realise when trying to pay for dinner that one of them had been a US 50 dollar bill (they all look the same).
- Monsoon rains arrive every afternoon at 2 on the dot and last until 3. Normally we can expect to be in the car by then but today we were caught at The Jolie Temple when the heavens opened. I struck as many AJ poses as possible in the pouring rain anyway. All caught on film.
- the food. Today we had to make an emergency loo stop for our guide (it was my turn yesterday) so I'm no worse than the locals.
- the local dance. It takes 15 years to gain the suppleness required in fingers and toes to do the moves. Sounds wierd and it is.
- my French. Most people we meet are French and I got a good conversation in last night on the way to our dinner+dance show combo but it's amazing how quickly it goes.
- the Australian no, pronounced niiaaooouuuuw. A highly irritating combination of vowels that judders right through me.
Cool:
- Angkor Wat (literally Temple City) is incredible. It's huge, it's 1000 years old, it's built from stone, there's carvings in it like it was clay, and they've used technology such as creating a pyramid hole above the door frames to distribute the weight of a roof down the door frame itself and not on to the stone above the centre of the door, which would collapse under the weight. The rest of the temples (there's zillions and they are all huge and Lonely Planet says it would take 2 weeks to see them all) are also amazing...one has 500 steps to climb like an Inca temple while some have amazing galleries or are very tall or small or have special carvings or trees growing out of them etc etc. All different. All amazing).
- our tour is cool. We have a cool guide, a cool driver and a very cool (thanks to airconditioning) car. We never go the same way twice and he is very informative and interesting.
- our hotel at the end of the day. What a way to relax when we are hot and sweaty and slippy with melting suncream.
- Angelina Jolie's temple (or rather Ta Preuk Temple) for the Tomb Raider film.
- the food in Cambodia is tasty...and so is the beer.
- the Angkor Passion cocktail available here.
- the silk/material/bowls/books/DVDs on sale. SO CHEAP! Next stop will be to buy a second suitcase.
- quick-dry outfits and my fabulous shoes, chosen by Rosanna at Martha's Vineyard in May, with one eye on fashion and one on the best shoes for the adventurer/jungle trekking/non-slip sole requirer... 3 people at IIFET had them and another three on the plane. So cool. Brand name: KEEN.
Not So Cool:
- handing over 3 US dollar bills to our tuk-tuk driver after the drive into town only to realise when trying to pay for dinner that one of them had been a US 50 dollar bill (they all look the same).
- Monsoon rains arrive every afternoon at 2 on the dot and last until 3. Normally we can expect to be in the car by then but today we were caught at The Jolie Temple when the heavens opened. I struck as many AJ poses as possible in the pouring rain anyway. All caught on film.
- the food. Today we had to make an emergency loo stop for our guide (it was my turn yesterday) so I'm no worse than the locals.
- the local dance. It takes 15 years to gain the suppleness required in fingers and toes to do the moves. Sounds wierd and it is.
- my French. Most people we meet are French and I got a good conversation in last night on the way to our dinner+dance show combo but it's amazing how quickly it goes.
- the Australian no, pronounced niiaaooouuuuw. A highly irritating combination of vowels that judders right through me.
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